i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
