ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
