And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize