Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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