is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
