One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize