I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
