I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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