I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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