Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
