with your own penis?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
