i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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