dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
