I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
