I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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