If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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