Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
