So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
