btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
