I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
