i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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