They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize