Your face is a jimmy john
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
