We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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