there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
