That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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