the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize