I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
