I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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