i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
