why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
