I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
