he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
What drink are we having for lunch?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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