I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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