then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
