I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
