dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
