My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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