I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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