This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
