They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
