So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
