seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Randomize
