just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
