like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
