I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
