i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I queefed so loud it echoed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
