im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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