Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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