He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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