Moan for me like Helen Keller
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
