did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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