Someone shit on the floor
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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