i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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