In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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