At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
