He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
