Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
