And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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