I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
