11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize